Sunday, January 25, 2009

The One About Sentimentality and Pajamas


Life changes over time. It's inevitable. It's the way the universe is.


Back over the Holidaze, Flipper and I had a conversation about changes in our lives. Yes, that's right, a real conversation about feelings and everything... Anyway, we were driving past a billboard for the movie "marley and me". I remarked that there was no way that I could see that movie. When he asked why, I told him that the dog will inevitably die in the end, and that I just can't take stuff like that anymore, it turns me into a blubbering idiot. Hell, I cry at some commercials... Flipper is the same way...

This just happened in the last few years. Since Momma left us... there's something about that kind of life change that colors absolutely everything. It's funny now, because we made fun of Momma for years...Momma cried at the drop of a hat. Seriously, she cried when she was happy, sad, angry, while she was laughing.... you name it. Church would do it to her every time.. years ago, we went all through Ireland...do you have any idea how many churches and cathedrals are it Ireland??? I literally carried a Kleenex box instead of a camera...

Anyhooo... I cried today...over a pair of flannel pajamas... and it seemed stupid and ridiculous, but it came with a story...see, when I became an "adult" (I use that word loosely) Xmas presents became kind of superfluous. I mean once your kids reach a certain age, you basically just give them money to get what they want anyway.... and Momma would do that....and she would do something else as well....

She would fill a box... with "stuff"... You know, all the "stuff" you never remember to get for yourself?? Stuff like underwear, socks, bras, belts, make-up cases, new pens, journals....all those things that you think about in passing...but never seem to get around to buying for yourself. And every year there was one pair of ridiculously expensive, crazy patterned, flannel pj's. And a pair of them died today... I've literally worn right through the fabric.... and I cried.... because no one will ever make sure that I have crazy flannel pj's again...no one will ever make sure that I have all the odd "stuff" that I need... no one but me... and it makes me sad....and it makes me cry...

And it reminds me how much I miss my Mom...

(It also reminds me that waterproof mascara is ALWAYS a good investment)


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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The One About Economizing and Stuff that Doesn't Work



That stuff up there...that picture that Blogger will not allow me to move?? That stuff does not work for me. That stuff is $35.00 a tube (not that I paid that) and it turned me into a dried-up piece of shoe leather. I should have expected it, I suppose. Lemon is often used as a bleach or astringent. But I'm committed to using up everything in my cabinets, so I used it up...and now all I need are a couple of buckles and I could pass for a very large Birkenstock... thank goodness it was a "free" gift. I'm just leathery, not leathery and ticked off....

I wanted to pause a moment and talk about the whole idea of "economizing".

Growing up, I was taught to buy the best that you can afford. And I do. But the best that you can afford is a waste if you don't use it. That being said dear readers, you will find here, from time to time, stuff that works really well.....and stuff that doesn't.

I am that "full-boat" kind of girl. 99% of the time, I'm the person with her hair and make-up done. I'm not fancy, and I live in jeans....but I'm coiffed and pressed almost everyday. I'm also OCD girl...it must be clean, it must function properly, yada, yada, yada...

Economizing is about spending what money you have wisely while maintaining the standards you have set for yourself. That stuff up there??? Would be a waste of money for me to ever purchase....






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The One About The 90 Second Rule



I have a 90 second rule. If I awake for any reason, I must be back in bed and under the covers in 90 seconds or less....otherwise.... I'm up for the day....which is why.... I'm writing this at 4 in the morning...

The Spinner thought it would be a brilliant idea to drink a bowl and a half of water right before I turned out the lights last night. That caused him to wake me at 3:30 this morning by doing the whole spinning thing.....ON MY HEAD! This in turn activated the Swooper, who then began the "whine and moan" song from inside his kennel. This in turn activated my own bladder. So being the super pet owner that I am... I went first, they went next and it all took over 90 seconds. So here I am...swilling coffee while telling the interwebz all about our bodily functions, while the two of them peacefully snooze away....

In other news, the quest for a combo-home continues. My poor realtor must think I'm nuts. Since the housing market took a poop, I've been searching for a way to combine Flipper's with the House of Nyt. The two house thing is just ridiculous. Between us, we have over 7000 sf of home, 4000 of which sits empty 6 months a year. This month alone we paid almost $1000 in heating costs, and let's not even consider the $21000 in property taxes. It's no longer making sense to have two seperate houses. Actually, for many years, this was Momma's plan for the family. Several years before she left us, she and I were investigating properties with potential.
Anyway, it's something I've been tossing around for a while. I watch the foreclosure market and my realtor and I hit stuff that looks interesting. And since I've had "the dream" I'm convinced that the "one" is right around the corner. This weekend Mr. Homes and I hit 7 properties. And then, I hit "the wall". Two of the homes had potential. Both would have needed work. One was a foreclosure..priced roughly 150k under market value, the other? 150k more and a regular owner sale... The problems? Foreclosure house has the land, but a deed restriction on fencing. Regular seller's home is sinking (at least the back half). Both homes require a similar amount of interior work (note to all those who think that venetian plaster is a great idea...take it off before you try and sell the house) but the sinking home has the perfect layout, while the foreclosure home will never have the "flow"....even with renovation. But the deal..... Gah! I've hit the wall. I guess if I'm terrified to pull the trigger, it mustn't be the time to shoot....

In the land of Declarations, the economizing portion of our program goes on. One of the things that I've decided to do is record the stuff that works and the stuff that stinks. If for no other reason than to remind myself.... see, I get distracted easily and...ooooo look......Shiny!



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The One About The Earth Standing Still


I'm not sure why the Earth is standing still...I only know that it is.


For the past couple of years, this country has been screaming for change. They now have it. I hope that it works, I really do...

I'm glad that he acknowledged the problems that this country faces. I'm heartened that he called for responsibility. I don't believe however....

I don't believe that throwing more money into an already broken system is the way to fix anything.

I don't believe that incurring $17000 worth of debt for every household in this country is the way to do it....

I don't believe that you can call for sacrifice from the populace while stating that we will not apologize for our way of life...

I don't believe that you can lead a military when you haven't served yourself...

I don't believe that you can unite a nation, when you set yourself apart...

I don't believe that you can "learn as you go".....

I don't believe....

I'm not part of whole "change" thing. I understand the significance of an African American man being elected president. I get that. But the bottom line is...he's just a man. He's got a great story, fabulous oration skills, and the American press in his pocket...but that's about all he has.... I hope with all my heart that America's faith in the new messiah in well founded.



Thursday, January 15, 2009

The One About Declarations



I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I gave up after about 20 years of consistent failure. When I began making the resolution to fail, I knew it was time to try a different direction. Nowdays, I make declarations. (I also make demands and ultimatums, but we'll get to those later :0 ) Declarations imply that the actions have already taken place, or at least the plan for action. That being said..let's look at the current batch of declarations.....

2009 will be the Year of Economizing
2008 was the Year of Spend Every Dime You Have, this year will be the year of leftover money. Every item will have a purpose, every purchase will be used until it dies a natural death. We're eating what's in the freezer, using what's in the fridge and the cabinets and dining out will be a special occasion.
Please don't think that I'm some kind of household queen... I'm not... My big problem with the last year (actually the last few years) is the sheer amount of waste this house and it's occupants generate. Seriously, there was a point where darn near the entire grocery budget was wasted because we chose to eat out instead. There were items purchased that touted themselves as "newer, faster, better". They may have been "newer", but they certainly were not faster or better. For 2009, if a company wants to sell me something "newer, faster and better" they had better send out the old free sample. And don't waste my time with the 2x2 square of goodness...you had better send me a sample I can use more than once..

2009 will be the Year of Expanding One's Mind
I used to be a voracious reader. Emphasis on the "used to be" portion of the sentence. These days, my reading is limited to the interwebz, the local paper, and a couple of magazines that are still delivered to the house. No one likes stupid. Least of all me. I don't suffer fools lightly, and if my current pace continues, I'm in danger of becoming a fool myself. The last thing I ever want to be in this life (and the next) is one of those vapid, self-absorbed, suburban Moms. You know the ones I'm talking about...the ones who have nothing more to discuss than potty-training, what my kid did today, yada, yada, yada. If I don't have the time to actually sit down and read a book, there's always the Ipod and audio books... Speaking of that, the same declaration can be applied to music and movies as well....

2009 will be the Year of Self
Sounds pretty darn narcissistic doesn't it? Well, it's not meant to be that way. See, I have a wonderful habit of taking care of everyone. Everyone but me that is. And I'm suffering for it. It doesn't have to be large things.. Heaven know that none of us really have the time for large things. But it does have to be just for me.....

2009 will be the Year of the Purge
I have no idea how it happens. I wish I did...When we bought the House of Nyt, it seemed unbelievably large. I remember looking into the crawl space and thinking "we'll never, ever, use all that space" HAH! Not only have we used all that space, we've used even more... We don't need all this stuff.... and we spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with the "stuff". And it detracts from the joys of everyday living...it must be destroyed...

2009 will be the Year of Taking Advantage of What We Have
We have a horrible habit of joining everything that might entertain us and then claiming that there's nothing to do. We have another horrible habit of pledging lifestyle changes and then finding every excuse in the world not to do them. Take the Wii Fit for example....it "fits" perfectly under the table where it mocks me from it's tidy little box.... Museum memberships? Used maybe once a year... I say "Phooey" to that.. this will be the year of doing the stuff we signed up for....

That about sums it up for now dear readers.... oh, and if this post looks a little wonkier than usual....blame Blogger....I swear I did the same exact thing for every paragraph...

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The One About The Cold



Since it's too cold for anything outside...


BEHOLD!!
The Princess Eggroll

Doesn't it make you wish you were still young enough for make believe?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The One Where I Win Mother of the Year



What the fly on the wall heard: "For heaven's sake child eat your vegetables, there are starving children in China who would be grateful for fresh veggies"....

Yeah...I suck.... (I'll just run with the current social climate and blame it on my parents)

It's been a week of adjusting in the ole House of Nyt. After almost three weeks in the Great Southwest with Grampaw and a passel of doting aunts and uncles, lets just say that getting back to routine is challenging. Think sugar withdrawal combined with a case of the "twos".... good times....good times....

On the plus side, the three weeks surrounded by nothing but adults did wonders for the Eggroll's speech...

The Swooper has virtually doubled in size. He and the Spinner are virtually inseparable. As I write this, they are chasing each other throughout the house.....four levels...nothing but wood floors... it sounds like a herd of buffalo. Swooper's also broken out in freckles...cutest thing ever!!!

Then we have Spinner, who has taken counter surfing to a whole new level. If anyone was concerned about the p
olitical correctness of a Chinese child carrying a Chinese baby doll, fret no more. The Spinner has solved the problem by surfing the doll off of the table and making Dolly a double amputee. Hopefully, the Eggroll has so many toys that she won't miss it. The current problem is the fact that I only found enough parts for ONE amputation.....which means that the Spinner devoured the first amputation....so I will spend my day in below zero temperatures on poop and puke patrol....Woot!! Sadly, the deranged "special effects" Elmo is still alive and well. If I had to sacrifice one toy on the altar of upset dog.....it would have been Elmo....at least the baby doll was quiet.

The snow is coming down again, and it's just too darn cold for anything other than gazing out the window. I will say this though, I never tire of the quiet beauty of winter. When everything is silent, fresh and crisp.... I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune as soon as I step outside the house, but for right now...the beauty is stunning.. Things "live" differently in winter..the animals outside travel in different paths, the house makes different noises, people move differently as well. We tidy our nests, cook the food that warms not only our bellies, but our souls, hold those close to us just a little tighter. Maybe it's the primal knowledge that of all the seasons...winter is the one that could end our time on this earth in the blink of an eye... Perhaps that's why it appeals to me... the whole primal simplicity..

And then there's the view from the window...the one that reminds me how lucky I am to be gazing at frigid beauty from the warmth of my kitchen...

Stay warm...







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Sunday, January 04, 2009

The One Where I Return From Sabbatical



Well then..... I trust that everyone had fun and fabulous Holidaze???? If you answered "yes" good for you.. if you answered "no" well, then...better luck next year...

Since I've been absent for darn near 30 days, we'll keep the recap short and sweet. Heaven knows that no one wants to listen to me babble for hours... I believe we left off right before Thanksgiving.

THANKSGIVING--
2 turkeys, 2 different kinds of dressing, 2 kinds of potatoes, 2 weeks of furious housecleaning, 15 people, 5 of which I like, 10 of which I don't, 2 fags, 1 recovering alcoholic, 1 eight week old puppy, 1 Eggroll, 4 other kids, 2 sets of parents allergic to disciplining the 4 children, Flipper holding court in his chair..(then there was the complaining that my family room doesn't seat enough people) 'Nuff said??? Good......moving on.....

POST-THANKSGIVING
At least one week was spent in recovery from the Thanksgiving meal. One of the great mysteries in my life is "where the hell does all this stuff go??" My house regularly burps up enough entertaining gear for a White House dinner, then refuses to accept the return of said gear. When it finally does accept the returns, there's a whole "get even" thing, which is why, no matter how many I buy, I never have more than 9 of anything...placemats, napkins, glasses...nine, apparently, is my homes lucky number....
The week was also spent holding my breath. Flipper and friends were scheduled to depart for the Great Southwest on the 13th of December. If you've hung around here for a while, then you know the airlines will not board the friends unless the ground temp is higher than 20 degrees. The week before his departure was bitterly cold. I made contingency plans, they involved 2 friends, one Eggroll, a fag, and Vanbo..... didn't sound like a vacation to me. Flipper being the clueless soul that he is thought it would be a fabulous idea to bring "all" the friends down since I was driving anyway... so let's see...that makes...Skinny, Minnie, Spinner, Swooper, Eggroll, Nyt, 1 fag, 1800 miles, and Vanbo...I gently reminded Flipper that Vanbo is a MINI-van, not a tour bus....and then my hair fell out.
Since Flipper is such a lucky guy, departure day was a balmly 36 degrees... I finally exhaled several hours after I dropped him off....
Of course the next several days were spent prepping Eggroll and myself for departure. Due to circumstances beyond our control (two busted eyes and one take-out pick-up...) Himself was out of days for the year, and we were, unfortunately, spending the Holidaze apart. We have made the joint decision to NEVER, EVER, DO THIS AGAIN. Even if we travel separately, we will spend the holiday together....

CHRISTMAS
Ahhh the Great Southwest....yeah...right.... While signifigantly warmer than the home front, it rained for the first week we were here. And then it never got quite warm enough..... Desert damp is different from Midwest damp. It lingers longer... I've been here almost three weeks now, and it's only really been warm enough to enjoy outside for 2 or three days. ....

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of..."As The Clueless Carry On"


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